that's what he said. He was all in tears and very upset. It's something in the way his tender heart works, taking things from one topic to another and ultimately leaving him feeling deflated, defeated, crushed. It all started on the way in from Scouts. "Where did all the fish go after the flood?" "That's a good question to ask God when you die." really? that's the answer? place in a child's head the thought of dying simply because he wants to be educated on history? on faith? on fish?
he curled up next to me crying and we cuddled in my big bed and talked. And he realized that, though his father is a fighter, he is not. he is a lil boy. he likes toy guns, Nerf guns, toy swords, SCA fighting, untrained Power Ranger kicks...but he is not and will never be (THANK GOD!!!) a fighter.
"I'm not a warrior, Mommy." and i said, "i know."
"But, wait, you are. There are different types of warriors. You may never be a Marine like you thought, you may decide not to fight in the SCA. You are a different kind of warrior."
We discussed things like Doctors without Borders and how they change people's lives. In the past we've discussed how some people build schools and homes, how people do good things in their communities like working the food banks, serving at shelters, sending up prayers for people whether you know them or not because it's all they can do. I reminded him that he grew his hair out several times and faced bullying because he wanted to donate it to Locks of Love. I told him, "See, you are a warrior. You are the kind that heals."
He dried his eyes. He was happy to learn that he wasn't "not a warrior", but instead he was the type of warrior the builds. Builds hope, and healing, and dreams, and love. He's happy to know that, just because dad fights, doesn't mean he has to. And i don't think he wants to. And i'm happy, too.
Tell him there are two kinds of people in the world: the people who make things, and the people who break things. Warriors often are those who break things. They are glorified because they are also defenders, but you can defend without breaking things. Those who do that are called Soldiers (be they Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, or Coast Guard) or First Responders, too: Police Officers, Firefighters, EMTs, etc. But the Builders, ah the Builders: the Teachers, the Architects, the Artists and Writers and Musicians, the Statesmen and -Women (NOT the Politicians), the Community Leaders, the leaders of building community wealth (the Businessmen and -Women, NOT the Corporate Execs or Suits) ... it is the builders who create Civilizations, who improve the quality of life of everyone in that Civilization; it is the Soldiers and First Responders who protect a Civilization and everyone in it. Being a Warrior isn't all it is made out to be; just tell him to be someone who makes things, and doesn't break things. There's where real and lasting honor can be and respect and happiness can be found.
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